LQ Jones died earlier this month. He played memorable roles in "Casino" and some Peckinpah movies like "The Wild Bunch." He was also on some of the old TV shows.
One of my favorites was when he had a small role on an episode of "Columbo." He
played an arms dealer named Jensen. Jensen wears a cowboy hat and Western-style
sport coat and bolo, and his cover is that he sells RVs. When you first see
him, he’s the RV salesman, out on the lot, pumping handshakes and pumping up
the merchandise—“We've got the largest inventory west of Chicago! Super savings
on every shape, every make, every model!”
The story involves a gun buyer named Devlin murdering Pauley,
the broker of a small-arms deal with Jensen. Jensen eventually comes to Devlin,
showing up with an RV, and pitches Devlin about making a deal—he must know
Devlin is the murderer. Devlin at first does not believe Jensen is the arms
dealer and says he’s not interested.
Jensen: “Brother Devlin? Don't say no before you hear my offer. I've got a sweetheart of a deal. Make your eyes pop. One look'll make you a believer. Just like I made a believer out of brother Pauley.”
Devlin: “Indeed.”
They step inside the RV, and then Jones’ movements and
line delivery take over. Jensen takes off his hat, drops it on a little
kitchenette table, and turns to look around at the interior as if to absorb for
a moment a bit of its greatness. Then he lets out the vocalized sigh of the
weary: “Huh-ho. It's, uh, kinda nice, ain't it?”
That “huh-ho” reveals something. I make the sound
sometimes when I’m really, really stressed and have to push myself through
something I don’t want to do.
After the sigh, he turns around with a matter-of-fact
look on his thin face, which sticks out from under long gray-white hair swept
across his forehead. He says, “Yeah, I can put you in one of these little
beauties for, uh—about $150,000.”
The price is way, way above market for an RV at the
time, but the buyer is unphased.
Jensen: “I've got your merchandise, brother. I was gonna deliver to Pauley, but wouldn't you know?, he turned up dead.”
Devlin: “Yes. Unfortunate.”
Then Jensen props one butt cheek on the little table,
leans forward with a wry, humorless smirk on his face and confesses, “And I'm
holding the goods. The deal all made, my middleman out of business, and no cash
to feed the bulldog. So the guns are all yours, brother Devlin. Same price,
same terms. Cash on the barrel head.” The animated tenor and rhythm of the
salesman has softened, and you empathize with his predicament, almost forgetting he’s trying to unload a truckload of sub-machine guns.
Notes:
- This episode, "The Conspirators," aired May 13, 1978, in season 7, episode 5. It starred Clive Revill as Joe Devlin with Peter Falk as Columbo.
- LQ Jones was born August 19, 1927, and died July 9, 2022.
