Saturday, September 27, 2025

something about John Updike's book "Rabbit, Run"

He is young, but desperation already has set in.

 
Harry "Rabbit" Angstrom is 26 years old and, with a tumbledown marriage and unserious, demeaning sales job, faces the deeply disturbing possibility that he peaked in high school. Rabbit was a star basketball playera natural, at home and in control on the court. High-school Rabbit never could have imagined such a sorry life awaited him after graduation.

A few pages into Rabbit, Run, Rabbit runs from his problems, including his pregnant wife, Janice. He finds his old basketball coach; but coach, too, is unmoored these days, and scandalized.

Coach finds Rabbit a prostitute named Ruth. Ruth and Rabbit spar but seem to enjoy being together. That sours, too, and soon, at the urging of a lonely local priest, Rabbit returns to reconcile with Janice, who just gave birth to their second child. But Rabbit himself is a child still, and a monstrous one, who spoils the fragile peace at home and runs back to Ruth. That goes bad. And back at home, the new baby drowns in the bathtub as a distraught Janice binge-drinks.

John Updike was 28 when he published Rabbit, Run, his second novel. He was noticing, he thought, a lot of guys who seemed to peak in high school, so Updike wrote about that and, for his efforts, won a Pulitzer Prize, the National Book Critics Circle Award, and a reputation as a premier American writer. Updike wrote several sequels to Rabbit, Run; many critics consider this series Updike’s most important work.

This was only the second Updike novel I have read, the first being 1965’s Of the Farm. Unlike the elegant prose in Of the Farm, the writing style in Rabbit, Run borders on stream-of-consciousness—lots of rich imagery and detail relayed in flowing, haphazardly punctuated sentences filling page-long paragraphs. And this surprised and put me off a little because my concept of Updike is of a polished Northeastern intellectual, a writer for The New Yorker, a Man of Letters and so forth. Maybe there is no inconsistency there. But the writing was good, no doubt, so I stayed with it and, into the second half, I began enjoying it.

At times I also get the impression Updike was trying to remind the reader, Remember now, these are working-class folks, not too bright. But the main struggle was Rabbit himself. I have a soft spot for self-destructive, deeply flawed characters, which Rabbit certainly is; but he is also a conceited bastard who often treats people terribly and expresses barely enough desire to do otherwise.

Here are a couple of my favorite parts. Right in the middle of the book, Rabbit and Ruth are having one of their punchy talks and Ruth says: "You're so mug, is what gets me. Don't you ever think you're going to have to pay a price?" Then a couple pages and many words pass—her thoughts of him, of what she likes about Rabbit, of her past with men from early on, of this fling and her anxiety, of how Rabbit is so screwed up. Finally, the flow of her thinking leads into Rabbit's response:

... That was the thing about him, he just lived in his skin and didn't give a thought to the consequences of anything. Tell him about the candy bars and feeling sleepy he'll probably get scared and off he'll go, him and his good clean piece and his cute little God and his cute little minister playing golf every Tuesday. For the damnedest thing about that minister was that, before, Rabbit at least had the idea he was acting wrong but now he's got the idea he's Jesus Christ out to save the world just by doing whatever comes into his head. I'd like to get hold of the bishop or whoever and tell him that minister of his is a menace. Filling poor Rabbit full of something nobody can get at and even now, filling her ear, his soft cocksure voice answers her question with an idle remote smugness that infuriates her so the tears do come.

"I'll tell you," he says. "When I ran from Janice I made an interesting discovery." The tears bubble over her lids and the salty taste of the pool water is sealed into her mouth. "If you have the guts to be yourself," he says, "other people'll pay your price."

Another good line comes when Rabbit returns after the baby has drowned, and his father in-law tells him the undertaker has the body.

Rabbit wants to cry out, it seems indecent, for the undertaker to be taking such a tiny body, that they ought to bury it in its own simplicity, like the body of a bird, in a small hole dug in the grass. But he nods. He feels he will never resist anything again.

 

Saturday, September 20, 2025

(posts) Romans 5:3-4

3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulations worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope

Notes:

Google's AI search overview offers this summary of the verses: "Christians can rejoice in their sufferings because suffering produces perseverance, which in turn produces character, and character produces hope."

How does character produce hope? For that matter, how does experience? Experience producing hope I can sort of see.

Follow-up questions led the AI thing to say that the King James Version (KJV) uses "experience." Another follow-up led to this portion of a longer response: 

"Experience" in 1611 English: While the word "character" might be the most common single word to translate "dokime" today, the KJV translators used "experience" in a way that captured the sense of proven worth and the outcome of enduring trials, which was common in their time. It conveyed the idea that through patiently borne afflictions, a Christian gains a deeper knowledge and assurance of God's faithfulness and their own sincerity. 

 

about what's amazing

For a little while, I often found myself amazedamazed by parts of the physical world around me, by developments in my life, by little moments, by lots of things. I know people have been using the word casually for years now, usually just to pay a compliment or to describe a fun experience, sapping the meaning out of it. But I think my dad's decline and passing and my getting older helped me appreciate more in life, and I was thinking how amazing some things really can be.

Like, I was taking the the subway regularly for work. The infrastructure of a public transit system is incredible. It amazes me. And I thought of how I rode the subway every day to and from work, but each time I rode, I felt like it took me farther and farther from home. This amazed me, too. And although I am often alone, I am amazed when I find myself alone in a given moment, living a life hundreds of miles from nothing, working in a big, complicated system of chaos, and starved. 


Saturday, September 13, 2025

a thoughtless word about seasonal depression

What a thingto feel troubled and depressed only once in a while, for those times to come reliably, like with the season. What is that like?

Friday, August 29, 2025

a review of some UK metalcore band

Metalcore band Wolves follows up almost 10 years after releasing a promising EP

The whole Wolves rhythm section is just slamming counts when “A Stolen Horse” opens. This blunt force is countered by a clean, flat vocal harmony. Twenty seconds later, the song turns to airy, echoey notes pinging from guitars against more heavy drums and clean vocals.

The metalcore band is fond of these abrupt changes. The tracks often sit just at the edge of traditional songs' reach; Wolves tests and favors a math-curious approach. Songs on “Self-Titled” level up and level down rather than flow, and the music engages you more than it moves you.

I still like groove, though, and Wolves flirts with it from time to time. “All Or Something,” for example—after a typically halting 45-second opening sequence, the band hits a confident little riff that takes the song into and out of a heavy groove.

The album’s promotional copy cites Every Time I Die, Dillinger, and Poison the Well. Those bands? Okay, maybe some. But from that great era, I’d suggest Wolves are a bit more like Candiria than ETID and Dillinger.

These musicians played in other bands before forming When the Wolf Comes Home in 2016 and releasing the EP Gone Are the White Flags on Damage Limitation Records soon after. They stalled out after that but finally are releasing a worthy full-length metalcore album, “Self-Titled,” on September 5, 2025, on Ripcord Records. The drums sound crisp and deep with a very light touch on the cymbals. The guitars are full and tight, the bass seamlessly filling in the bottom end. The band says four members share vocal duties.

The Poison the Well reference makes sense when you hear songs like “The Rich Man and the Sea.” This is metalcore—some clean singing complimented by hardcore scream-shout singing, and chugging riffs that bookend more melodic guitar sections. This song recalls those turn-of-the-century Poison the Well albums.

Slow, patient, and heavy, “A Guide to Accepting Ones Fate” opens with generous guitars. And here is another groove that deserves a call out—at 1:35, a curly riff takes hold, and the band really jams. A few moments later, it’s gone.
 

Friday, August 22, 2025

about the sense of a lost dream

Your body stops metabolizing after exposurefever, suffering, no help through difficult hours remaining you put a thousand ideas in the universe nobody could see you. Certain a borg is a sign your mind is gone to flicker yet next season approaches as memories get thicker of teens in the garage 5 feet into the rain. Keep rounding until past is as big as a house and I cannot see these curled dimensions.
 
Electrons annihilate the charge and burn down the distance between us two stars.

Thursday, August 14, 2025

a short review of a lo-fi indie guy's singles

The single, "Homesick," is the latest in a string of low-key charmers

Lo-fi bedroom indie rock project Parent Teacher released the bruised single "Homesick" last month. Its melancholy opening—fresh strings chiming through the song's chords on an acoustic—is followed by tinny drums and a bass that's a little louder and grittier than you'd expect. With the school bell having rung, out comes the resigned but pure and melodically simple vocal: "I lied instead of being direct, my feels protected the disconnect."

The sound mix is a tad off, and I resisted at first. But after listening again and trying the two other songs released this year, the music grew on me.

Parent Teacher reminds me of Grandaddy, Ben Gibbard, and 22º Halo. This artist has a knack for melody and songwriting. Sound engineering and all that stuff can be fixed, but without the melody and songwriting, you have nothing.

"Homesick" is posted below, but I recommend trying "Capital Artist" and "Fire Door," too. They aren't all sad-guy songs. And—confession time—I like the raw, stripped-down clips of these songs ("Fire Door," especially) posted on his Instagram more than the released versions.

Saturday, August 09, 2025

about how I miss our talks

She said she wanted to quit this job and go to Texas and work at a nursery or something. Then she told me she left her husband. I had suspected as much the first time she mentioned quitting. This time she also told me she tried taking medication to stop smoking, but she ended up crying for three days and calling her husband, who almost persuaded her to go to some kind of couple’s therapy retreat so they could get back together.