Friday, February 27, 2026

something about “Heart of Darkness”

I read Heart of Darkness as an undergraduate in college. The class was asked if the book was racist. I have no idea what academia thinks of this question now (I have my suspicions), but I recently reread the book and thought it pretty obvious that it is an indictment of European colonial rule in Africa. And, furthermore, the story told in the novella, published in 1899, is narrated by a third character, sailor Charles Marlow, and this simple storytelling technique distances the author, Joseph Conrad, from the narrator’s views and language.

Marlow’s descriptions of Africans are ugly. They are savages. But the Africans appear ugly and often inhuman because they are being dehumanized. Marlow sees the white European bureaucrats as brutal, and Kurtz is the ultimate company functionary-inflictor. Kurtz was the worst savage of them all, and no doubt.

The story Marlow tells his listeners is about his experience assigned as a steamer captain for a Belgian trading company in Africa. When he sets out, Marlow is advised about Kurtz, an ivory trader working far upriver (probably the Congo River), and the possibility that Kurtz is sick. Kurtz has reportedly "gone native" and is the object of Marlow's expedition. Marlow suffers a hellish journey and discovers the horror of European colonization.

The prose throughout Heart of Darkness is great, although Marlow waxes philosophically during his narration, which can fray the thread.

‘You know I hate, detest, and can’t bear a lie, not because I am straighter than the rest of us, but simply because it appalls me. There is a taint of death, a flavour of mortality in lies—which is exactly what I hate and detest in the world—what I want to forget. It makes me miserable and sick, like biting something rotten would do. Temperament, I suppose. Well, I went near enough to it by letting the young fool there believe anything he liked to imagine as to my influence in Europe. I became in an instant as much of a pretence as the rest of the bewitched pilgrims. This simply because I had a notion it somehow would be of help to that Kurtz whom at the time I did not see—you understand. He was just a word for me. I did not see the man in the name any more than you do. Do you see him? Do you see the story? Do you see anything? It seems to me I am trying to tell you a dream—making a vain attempt, because no relation of a dream can convey the dream-sensation, that commingling of absurdity, surprise, and bewilderment in a tremor of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured by the incredible which is of the very essence of dreams...’

He was silent for a while.

‘… No, it is impossible, it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one’s existence,—that which makes its truth, its meaning—its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream—alone …’

He paused again as if reflecting, then added—

‘Of course in this you fellows see more than I could then. You see me, whom you know …’


Notes:

  • Conrad drew on his own experience working for a Belgian trading company, taking a steamer up the Congo River.
  • Heart of Darkness inspired Francis Ford Coppola's 1979 masterpiece “Apocalypse Now.” That film is might be the better work—the director’s cut, anyway.

Friday, February 20, 2026

(posts) the little speech in Rocky Balboa

Martin, trainer to Mason Dixon, and this speech—
There's always somebody out there. Always. And when that time comes, and you find something standing in front of you, something that ain't running and ain't backing up, and it's hittin' on you and you're too damn tired to breath? You find that situation on you, that's good. Because that's baptism under fire! Oh, you get through that, and you find the only kind of respect that matters in this damn world: self-respect.


 

Friday, February 13, 2026

creative exercise 7J, blending fantasy and reality

I smoked my brand far enough to hide blood. Doc says they will zap me hard, says dying is nothing to be overly concerned about. Just a hard spot all the time. That was the giveaway. Once we dig it out, gravity could cause the remaining mass to collapse back in on itself—that's if you can build the excavating equipment out of material that doesn't melt when you hit the mantle. Even cold, dead Mars has more love and heat than me. I know because I was in the Dollar Store at Federal Plaza in the Grove when a female tried to get my attention for help in finding an item, but I was busy with someone else. Maybe I can help you now, make you mine. Her flame-green eyes traffic drugs and turned-up lips at champagne sidewalk art that says Unity Against. Am I witch doctor? Never study what I say and then think the medication wore off. I basically just flew off the handle again and professed surprise. Halloween kids who run out of money will come to our door dressed as firemen, and I feel good suddenly as from room to room princesses and pumpkins and clowns lie still.

Tuesday, February 03, 2026

about takeoffs and landings

The first hour slips under our wings. The next hour peels paint as it angles us higher and farther from anywhere, locking us out of your homes from 35k feet. We wave through windows, untethered, until, washed up on the rock-strewn shore of our futures, we meet again.


Sunday, February 01, 2026

about a scene from "Boogie Nights"

He finds himself sitting in a strange room surrounded by firecracker explosions, unsustainable highs, men with guns hidden behind waistbands and shirts. Sitting in that room, waiting for what seems like an imminent, inevitable, violent end, he disappears into the last 5 years—through a keyhole he sees it—the first half, the good half coaxes a smile that dissolves into the second half and lost eyes find a narrowing range of options and an expanding sense of desperation. Time to go.

Sunday, January 25, 2026

a review of an album by a guy who doesn't prioritize music

Longtime Brooklyn musician Brian Russ finally lets the music surface

Brian Russ has a family, a job, he coaches baseball—stuff that often comes with mature adulthood. But he found time to put this album together. He calls the project Hand Gestures.

Some people—maybe especially once they reach their 40s—try to be in the moment but also frequently find themselves thinking about the past and trying to relate it to now. That’s what happens in these simple little songs.

For starters, “Once it Starts to Kick In” is a simple little jam about opening up oneself to whatever good there is in whatever reality has become. The song includes an overdriven guitar that intrudes in a way that is at odds with the easy-going sound of the drums, acoustic guitar, and vocal. And mid-song, a little keyboard offers a toy melody that plays well with that overdrive.

Most of the album is like this: simple songs—songs that feel like they were already written, and Russ just had to channel them for himself.

Russ has been playing music a while. Check out the video “I’m Not Lying” by 
a band he was in, Backwords, posted more than 10 years ago. Man, that is a good song. The pining, the purity of the voice? Lovely. The loose composition and modest hi-hat tapping away the time. That oldie has a kind and rooted sound.
 
The Hand Gestures self-titled album will be released October 31, 2025, on Russ’s own label, Campers’ Rule Records. But today he needs to stop at Home Depot to get a spare key made and pick up some weed killer.


Notes: A lot generous, this review. I don't think Russ is even the singer for Backwords. That song was the main reason I wrote this.


Friday, January 23, 2026

some good—really good—death metal lyrics for anyone to use

ʿAtā Reborn into Royalty
 
Black robes flow from the princess, armed with a shining knife
Her cult of worshipers beneath stained glass kneel and prepare for death
The hate she has for those who love her expands, exploding stars
“Please kill me” they chant in verse, shrieks of love, all their breath

Skin and sinew give way to the blade, she spits venom into their eyes
She of endless sight and time exacts torture on their souls
Goat bleats and human gurgles unite in praise for ʿAtā
Another three-toed creation feeds and feasts and grows

She birthed ninety-nine precious young who hunger for human flesh
But the last one, stillborn, hangs rotting, suspended over her bed


Sunday, January 11, 2026

about July 22, 2025

On Saturday, August 23, 2025, she finally cried about Ozzy Osbourne dying, of all things. “Goodbye to Romance” and “Mama, I’m Coming Come.” She was so sad. Cried while listening. She also read a couple of old emails she exchanged with a boyfriend and was impressed by those people. She read an email from her sister. Christ, she was feeling a lot. A three-hour-tour situation.
 
On that Diary of a Madman tour, a midget was always swinging from a noose overhead during the performance. 

Notes: Ozzy was 76.
 

Saturday, January 03, 2026

another review, this time of a punk band from Sweden

Fast, dirty songs give you that little kick in the ass you need

Maybe try some fast living vicariously with Spøgelse and these speedy elbow-throwing songs. The Swedish hardcore punk band advertise a lifestyle of motion, momentum, and attitude.

Of course the first song is titled “Who Cares,” but it shortly introduces the band and singer’s confident, chin-out sound—“No, I don’t want that attitude, I don’t want to love you, No, I don’t need that shit from you, I guess I don’t.” It’s a good fuck-you of a song with fuzz-busted guitars and mind-made-up tempo. “Terrible Head” offers more of the same, but Spøgelse at least sound like they’re having fun.

The production throughout leaves instruments muffled and buried, for better or worse. And the drums, which run a little ahead of the rest of the band, sound buried under the distortion and noise.

Most of these songs are barely a minute long, but “Kick Them Where It Hurts” manages almost two and a half minutes of okay stuff, starting with a chunky little riff that beckons the rest to come jam. The song even makes space for some hot licks. The playing on this song outshines the vocal. Everywhere else, that voice is the album’s strength.

If you’re looking for a RIYL, it’s probably Motorhead. Listen to “East Coast Nightmare” and try not to hear that influence.

Spøgelse debuted with a self-titled album in spring 2023. This follow-up, “Spøgelse II,” came out via Welfare Sounds & Records on October 24, 2025.

Saturday, December 20, 2025

song lyrics by one of my favorite bands, Today is the Day

Rape my country again. Over and over and over again. No. I got a hand. I can use it. You could be the one. Running from my gun. Running from the bad man. Running from the gun man. Running with your life at stake. Taken. Broken. Homeless. Heartless. I'm not afraid. I got my guns. Now you're the one. Running from my guns. Running from the bad man. Running from the gun man. Running now your life's at stake. How's it feel to be my target? I won't miss. I totally promise. When you shoot at me don't be afraid. Justice will be done. Victory will be won. Life will be good again. Wipe away the blood. Shake away the pain. Live your fucking life. That's a good philosophy. Get yourself a brain. Break the fucking chain. Put the knife away. Be an honest man again. Mean what you say. Say what you mean. Try some self respect my friend. Paint that black word. Tear down that church. Look within. Try to find. Fly away. Heart and mind. Look so deep. Deep inside. Fade away. Heart and mind. Cross the sea. Far away. Cast the spell, this I say. Count on me. I'm your Glock. Rack the slide. Gonna rock. Better watch what you say. Better watch what you do. Better learn how to live. Get ready to move. Can you change? Brand new name in a rage, violent race.